I’ve got lots of opinions on things, just like most people. But I’m doing this thing now where I really try to focus on the positive, and not so much the yuck. The yuck will suck you in like the vortex of shit that it is, and you’ll lose your way. It’s happened to me plenty of times throughout my journey. It happens still.
That’s another thing — it’s becoming a bit easier to admit when I’m wrong, and really try to grow and learn from the mistakes. Not just mine, but other peoples’ as well. I’m doing this thing where I really try to remain focused and humble; cognizant of the violence that life is capable of — but aware that love counters fear more powerfully than any of us know.
There are, of course, the people in my life who help me along my way. My family. The ones who love me most and judge me least; the ones who put up with my stumbles and often demanding behavior and remind me it’s not about the superficial shit — it’s about us. My best friend and partner in life; the two souls we’ve been blessed to help create.
My mother. My grandfather. Grandmother. Father. Pops.
My sister(s). My other mother. My brother(s).
I focus on the good.
I forgive myself when I fall short of my own expectations. I allow the yucky thoughts to make their way through my conscience. I don’t get paid enough at work — but I’m grateful I have a job. I don’t look the way I used to, but at least I’m alive, well, and surrounded by love.
It could be worse. It could be better.
But it could be worse.
I allow myself to escape with brilliant books, music, art, film, television; entertainment. “Is this not why you are here?” I realize, as I travel along my path, that I often don’t know shit. That some days, I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing. That sometimes, I do cuss too much.
But here’s what I know. Love.
And that’s a good thing.